if this isn’t the best thing you’ve seen all day then I don’t know what to tell you
real friendship is sending them a link to something terrible so you can both be traumatized at the same time
Forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door
one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’
no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty
I reblog this every time it comes up on my dashboard, not because it is a “rule” but because every time I see it the love and sincerity on her face hit me all over again and I think everyone deserves to see that.
And THIS is why I adore Catherine Tate. She’s loud and brash but in quieter moments… her soul comes shining through and it makes everything about her so much more beautiful.
oh shit I’ve never seen this before and I’m crying.
My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”
I met you on a Sunday, right
one look and my heart fell into
my stomach like a trap door.
on our second date,
I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”
he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
“how about you?”
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
u know when u cold n ur nipnops go hard. why my titty betray me
Making out with a girl for the first time is the coolest thing and the second coolest thing is driving home and getting aware of all the parts of your face where she was and tasting her lip balm on your lips. The third coolest thing is outer space.
im really tired of europeans on here reblogging posts about racism in america and adding shocked disapproving comments like “get it together america lol” as if there isn’t an enormous amount of racism in europe and as if it wasn’t the europeans that first colonized the new world that planted the seed of racism in north america
also @ all canadians
Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation
Puppy don’t care
Puppy’s got stuff to do
Puppy’s got places to be
Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.
partlylesbian 😐 Imma just show up at your house..
Hahaha oh shit yeah ive still got that…